What Mental Disorder do you have and what does it make you feel like?

I have severe depression and OCD tendencies. Makes me feel suicidal :( it stemmed from the sexual abuse I endured from the age of 13 to 18. I am on long term sickness as no pyscaitrist nor councillor could help me. I'm now nearly 23 and been in hospital numerous times for attempted suicide. Big scars up my arms too from self harming. It's just so hard to cope with.