Ex wife is accusing me of domestic violence?

My ex wife and i are in a middle of a custody battle of our three children ages 5,7 and 9 years old they are all boys we have been married for 15 years we had some problems in our marriage i had some anger problems and i admit i raise my voice at my ex but i never hit her. 5 years ago During our marriage she had an affair with my best friend who died wile fighting in iraq she told me was pregnant with his child. I was angry at first it was rough but i learned to accept the baby he died before the baby was born. So we both raised him together and i took him in as my son he is now 5 years old. My anger has gotten worst and worst i would punch holes in the walls throw things everytime my wife have done something wrong we tried to work through it but we couldn't the other day my ex and i was arguing over the custody battle she slap me and i pushed her just a little bit when she left i guess my neighbors called 911 and they arrested me for disturbing the peace i am now out on bail my ex have the kids and i am currently getting help for my anger taking anger management classes my ex told me shes going tell the court everything what should i do i am so desperate and i want my kids back!!!!!